So Desmond will be six months in ten days, and I’m just now getting around to writing this. Better late than never, I guess. Desmond was born on April 9th at 1:22am in our home. It was a beautiful, amazing, incredibly empowering experience and it could not have gone any better. We quite literally woke up, had a baby, and went right back to bed. What more could you ask for, right? So, that’s the short version of the story. Here’s the rest….
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| Desmond Gene, April 9, 2014, 1:22am; 7 lb. 10 oz. |
Somewhere in my mind, I had April 8th in my mind as the day that Desmond would join our family. So when I woke up April 8th to contractions about 12 minutes apart, I really wasn’t surprised. I went about our normal day expecting for things to pick up, but…. they didn’t. All day long, mild contractions somewhere between 10-15 minutes apart. We went to Target and walked around, I cleaned the house, and made sure all of the birth stuff was in order… just incase. Around 7pm, I decided it would probably be a good idea to give the midwife a heads up, just incase labor started overnight. The midwife assistant came out and checked me. I was barely dilated and only slightly effaced. She timed my contractions for an hour and there was no progression. So, around 9pm, she sent me to bed and told me to call if anything changed. She really didn’t sound optimistic, so I didn’t expect anything to happen. Though, before we went to bed, we did decide to put the additional sheets /mattress protector on the bed. We put Charlie to sleep and climbed in bed around 9:30. I fully expected to wake up the next morning still incredibly pregnant.
Then, to my surprise, I woke up at 10:30pm to a very strong contraction. I climbed out of bed and realized that my water had broke. Game on! Since my labor with Charlie was DAYS long, in my head there was plenty of time. I figured I’d let Brian get some extra sleep, go downstairs and get some stuff ready, and then call the midwife. Yeah right. Immediately the contractions were about four minutes apart. So, Brian woke up and we called the assistant. Good thing she only lived a few minutes away! I was laboring on the birth ball downstairs when she arrived. She got to the house around 10:50pm and contractions were about two minutes apart and were incredibly strong. I couldn’t believe this was happening so fast. There was no gradual change between those mild, 12 minute apart contractions and BOOM! two minutes apart! How did that much change in the hour that I slept?! She checked me and I was at 5cm dilated at that point. I told her that I wanted to deliver in the bathtub, and she told me that when I hit 7cm, I could get in the water. We both kind of expected that to take some time. Wrong. I started throwing up, which was a sign to both of us that I was hitting transition (already??). She asked me if I felt like I needed to push, and I was surprised to hear myself say “yes.” She told Brian to get me upstairs to the tub, and she called the lead midwife and told her to hurry, haha!
By the time we filled the tub and I got in, I was getting pretty much no breaks between contractions and was definitely feeling the urge to push. The assistant told me to push whenever I felt like I needed to. Because of some awful SPD that I had in pregnancy, being on my hands and knees was the only way I could get through the contractions. The lead midwife arrived, which I only knew because I saw her shoes. I was fully in tune with my body at that point. Sometime while I was in the tub, Charlie woke up and had to pee. Brian went and got him and brought him to the bathroom. After he peed, Brian was taking him back to bed and I asked him to bring Charlie back. He put Charlie on the floor in front of the tub, and Charlie gave me a big hug. It was the most peaceful moment of my whole labor – it was amazing to have that connection with him while I was working to bring Desmond into the world. I knew things were going to be so different for him when he woke up in the morning, so having that last solitary moment with him is something I will always treasure. Brian took him back to bed and I continued working through contractions. As much as I enjoyed being in the water, I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to push effectively in our tiny bathtub. So, I climbed out of the tub and leaned over the side, trying to push when I had the urge. Brian sat on the edge of the tub and I would grab onto his belt as he held me through each contraction. I could tell my body was getting tired because though I was ready to push him out, my contractions were only lasting a mere 20-30 seconds, hardly giving me enough time to get one good push for each contraction. To make matters harder, my cervix was posterior throughout delivery (facing towards my back – in typical labor, it moves into an anterior position (front) to allow baby to move through the birth canal more easily), making it incredibly tough to get Desmond’s head through. The midwife suggested the birthing stool, which made all the difference in the world. I struggled for a little more time and finally, the lead midwife stepped in to take over for the assistant. “Let’s get this baby out,” she said. Best thing I’d heard all evening, haha! She had to reach in and pull my cervix around Desmond’s head, which was absolutely excruciating… BUT, in just two more pushes, his head was out. She stepped back and let Brian reach in to catch the baby. He was definitely nervous, but it was such a special moment. One more push, and out he came at 1:22am! Less than three hours after my water broke. Brian handed me the baby, and I happily exclaimed, “Another boy!” We hadn’t found out the sex, so it was a wonderful surprise! I rocked him for awhile on the stool just saying “I did it, I did it, I did it.” I was so amazingly empowered at that moment.
I wanted to wait for the cord to stop pulsing before cutting, so I sat there and held him for a few minutes while we waited for the placenta to be delivered. Immediately after that though, I started shaking profusely and felt freezing cold. So they had Brian cut the cord. I gave Brian the baby and I climbed into the bathtub, still warm from laboring. We hadn’t named the baby yet. Though we knew we would go with “Desmond” for a boy, we hadn’t picked a middle name. Brian looked down at him and said “Desmond Gene.” It was perfect. My father’s name is Eugene and Brian’s grandmother is Jean – and Desmond was born on her birthday. Perfectly perfect. Brian wrapped up Desmond in a towel and handed him to me in the water. They turned off the lights and I laid in the warm water and nursed him for the first time while Brian and the midwives cleaned up and brought me some herbal tea. It was so incredibly surreal to be holding this little guy in my arms in my own bathtub.
After about 20 minutes, the lead midwife had to go to another laboring woman, and her two assistants remained behind to help clean up, do a newborn check, and get me in bed. Though we normally refuse all interventions, we did opt to give Desmond the vitamin k shot, since he had a hematoma on his head from being stuck on my cervix for some time. The hematoma was gone by the next day, thankfully. The assistants were amazing – they got everything from delivery cleaned up, made me and Brian a small meal and brought it to us in bed, and made sure everything was perfect before they headed out. By 3:00am, we were a family of four snuggled in our family bed.
Around 8:00am, Charlie began to stir, having had no idea of what had happened the night before! Desmond made a little squeak and Charlie sat straight up asking, “What was that sound?” We were able to introduce him to his new baby brother, and he immediately starting loving on him. Best friends from the start.
Our homebirth experience truly could not have been any more amazing. We have had no instances of Charlie not wanting Desmond around; and I know without a doubt it’s because of the way he was peacefully born into the family home.
